Instead of You

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It’s sexy-pink, and soft and warm,
It doesn’t thrash, or snore or kick ;
A body pillow I would pick.
I’d rather hug its comfort form
Instead of you.

At home, alone, where peace prevails,
Surrounded by the stuff I like :
Some simple food, the TV, bike …
I’d rather talk with garden snails
Instead of you.

Or on the road, with wheels spinning,
Small towns drift by – yet more to go –
Hills, rivers, forests, deserts’ glow.
I’d rather ride my bike (waist thinning)
Instead of you.

The double hull and sails of cat’,
Its cabins filled with friends of mine ;
Blue tropics, where we swim and dine –
I’ll spend vacation bucks on that
Instead of you.

Our children tremble, fear and cry
From hearing but your self-serve side –
The odious rants of “jilted bride” –
Good God ! Too bad your mom should die
Instead of you !

They scheme, connive, and truth condemn –
Slime lawyers from McOink, McFall !
Their progress billings count as all ;
Be sure, my coins will go to them
Instead of you !

Your life is dark and clouded o’er ;
You have no plans but well-stuffed purse.
A mean and haggard, dismal curse
Is so much better to adore
Instead of you.

( Addendum )

-- deleted --
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Middle Earth and Present Earth

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Every tree on the land is a snag,
All around there’s but fire and slag.
Hobbit life? There’s a dearth,
Ekeing out of scorched earth.
No white horse, just a black wingèd nag.
.
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Election Results Moot

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The truth is it matters not which
Of the parties got hold of the switch;
It’s the Fed Reserve “drug”
Got US pinned to the rug –
"Fat cats" now only ones getting rich.
.
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My Lawyer's Bigger Than Yours!

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While his ex- was asleep at her switch,
He filed motions designed to unhitch
His affairs from her grasp…
Awful, burbling gasp!
Eyebrows jumped! and she started to twitch!

“I don’t care for ideas that you pitch,
For they’ll all come to naught! Oh, and which
Of your balls will you lose
On this round, dear? You choose…
Or, I'll leave you with nothing to itch!”
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Rave At Stonehenge!...

Hey there, baby, you got any glow-gourds?
Bring ‘em out to tonight’s Stonehenge slow-chords.
Plus, we’ll drop a few pills
To dispense with our ills,
Misbehavin’ out on the old mow-swards*.

*the old Scots word “mow” refers to that most ancient human activity.

reference: “Glow-Gourds at Stonehenge Raves All the Rage” http://www.npr.org/2011/05/14/136295663/listener-limerick-challenge .
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All Hallows Eve

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The Great Pumpkin, that kingliest gourd,
Rises up! – becomes fully unmoored.
Quickly floats yard-to-yard
And attempts to retard
The predations of over-age horde.
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The Demonic Duo

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Mr. Brinton and my poor ex-wife
Got together - they’re stropping a knife!
Stinging sulphurous smell–
It’s a match made in Hell!
Not much left of her mis’rable life…
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